Aaos preparing for death uttered in soliloque:
"O, thou inconceivableness that transcends human desire; thou magnificent incongruous Face. For millions of years thou hast not wearied of my body. What would Thy pleasure be but for my wantonness?"
"I teach you the glad death of all things." Thus spake my knowing mouth.
"My belief has created the more beautiful body and desires of rebirth. Fear I the transvaluation called death? Knew I not death, when time was born? Arise, old memory! And tell my consciousness of this frequent experience-once again!"
Then Death spake unto Aaos:
"No stranger, nor enemy to me is Aaos, we are too ancient friends to come to blows. What hast thou come to take from me this time? What fresh associations for thy new body? No self-denial has Aaos! Thou hast not come to rap tables. To awake the disembodied Astrals!"
"In my life my memory lived numerous remotenesses which were once me. My belief reached associations that out-stripped all morality and rationalism. My I chanced much with the Self: certain it is, I come not to repent . . nor seek a wife. Yea, my will conquered faith and sincerely laughed at every righteousness! Now that my individual consciousness dissolves, to saturate again with its furthermost desires, to form the new body:-O mighty death, remember at the time of incarnating-my utmost immorality, my frightening madnesses, my jesting sins, my satyr carouses, my grotesque concubine of chaos! Remember O death, my frenzied longing that has no name [Oh, forget my first kiss of love, now withered as a fallen leaf]. Make this my sexuality complete, all knowing, so that I may again procreate the lusty Self-love in isolation!"
Then Aaos spake unto the ferryman:
"O time, of nothing now am I ashamed to admit parentage. What I generate is future, body to become. I have learned and unlearned in equal labouring this universe. Hard has been my faith and denial. That which is incomprehensible have I made,-have I impelled inwards to make secure for reaction. My knowledge is but the murmuring of a few words with ever changing intonation and meaning. For I have suffered that which shall never be forgotten or spoken: Thus much have I realized of Life. Where is fear when I impel procreation? O earth! all memories! solid, liquid, vapour and flaming! Old sentiment is my body, germinating afresh: again to exist and change by the command, 'I desire.' The Alpha and Omega of my wisdom is-glad suicide: it has become inevitable and shall be my payment to thee. Steel and poison are my friends. Steel for Self, poison for vermin-for myself diseased. I will this fruitful violence, my death kiss, thus to realize my hyper-commands."
With his belief firmly fixed, his full red lips smiling, with bright eyes; Aaos clasped his sword saying:
"Greater love hath no man than Self-destruction in pleasure." No new experience for Aaos! And thus he died.
Death is named the great unknown. Assuredly, death is the great chance. An adventure in will, that translates into body. What happens after death? Will it be more surprising than this world? Could I say? My experience may not be the commonplace . . .
Without doubt, all shall experience the 'rushing winds' that blow from within, the body beyond perspective, into cosmic dust,-till consciousness again develops. Death is a transfiguration of life, an inversion, a reversion of the consciousness to parantage and may be a diversion! A continuation of evolution. The coming forth of the suppressed.
Do you know what happens to the body at death? Exactly what changes take place? Well, so it happens to your beliefs, desires, etc., that make consciousness, for all things seen are incarnate desire, the unseen; Ideas of the past and future bodies. From these the new body is determined and parantage selected by the laws of attraction.
The wise man makes sure of his future parents and a male incarnation before death.
Consciousness [for most, only three dimensions] is not so definite as in life but to the extent of your will in life, that much is your consciousness in death.
Death is the manufacture of life. A dream is a sore likeness of Life.
Death is a sore dream of life. Its period depending on the perfection or otherwise of the individual but closely follows in duration the previous life-till re-incarnation.
Death being a living nightmare of life, has painful possibilities-in the degree of unified consciousness. A ghostly world of 'perhaps' where all the vague potentialities of desire, are incarnating. There is no women as such.
Again I say, death is the great chance and there grasp where thou hast before failed in body.
If fate is life, then death is the hazard to alter fate!
A world where will creates the afterthought in its own image.
For most, death will hold mainly blank pages, but were we ever treated all alike?
Study your dreams in this life, it may help you in the death posture.
THE HEAVEN OF AAOS:
"All things are subject to resurrection" thus spake smiling Aaos, on rising from the dead.
Then turning towards his shadow . . . .
"I come! the changing word that destroys religion, a vortex wind that shall jest in Temples! Again! A reveller in the marshalled order of the sexes, the mad anarch of desires, the wild satyr of wolfish kisses! Once again to earth, O Thou whirlwind of desire, thou drunken breath of ribald lightning! My vampire chalice of ecstasy! Yea, as my rapacious flame reareth before thee, thou escapeth from me with the laughing whisper of thy wonderful pleasure! O, L.C.O' CS!! thou insatiable thirst of my self-love, with none but thee will I procreate!"
"What now am I after resurrection? The sinful despair of magic? I am the Iconoclast of Logos: The sun-satyr of Chaos! Thunder and lightnings? Yea, a vital gaiety to drowsy dust, to blase souls. Ecstatic laughter that reverberates and awakens . . . I am the shuddering heights and suffocating depths of ego, slipping and becoming. Inconceivable women am I. A clouded vista of abyss, wherein to visit naked, my vampire Self. Wherein to write a cryptic language of my sexes, that I am the Key. Wherein to belch forth venomous atmosphere towards the highest. Wherein to drench my thirsted tongue on thy goat's milk; to battle with thy cataleptic kisses, to swoon in thy consuming subtilty. O my mistress, I am unutterably drunk striving thy depths. I am the great cypher of love and hate knotted. The sphinx surviving, never sufficiently imagined. I am the grotesque refractions of form and Self. The bitter purgative, called death. A violence that out-lasts the morning. Moon turbulent waters am I: the frightening black Albatross of unashamed women-where men are. I am the over mature breasts of a child: the virgin womb, hidden by nightmares. Constant in metamorphosis, permeating creation without compassion. The unexcelled impulse that has never failed. Yea, I am all these-yet never known. My kiss is a sword thrust! For whom, am I, this insatiable fountain in the hot deserts? Only for thee, O, L.C.O'CS!" Thus sang Aaos, the blasphemer, throwing off his grave shroud.
Going again among men [for he pleasured in all men], he gave unto them his magic book, named: "Life and Death, the jest called love, wherein every man is a God, in whatsoever he will his belief."
And Aaos passed his way, muttering to his goatish beard:
"What now is left all hope is dead? For I have buried my illusion and dishonesty. Thus my body is now all inconceivableness! O, God, where is thine enemy?"
THE DREAMS OF AAOS
THE I AND THE ARCANUM
One day the time drew near for the experiment and Aaos was watching the waters, to make arcana by arbitrary projection into the utter void of his isolation. And this was his wish-"In future my dreams shall interpretate themselves as will [i.e. reaction]."
For, he reasoned: "Why not live asleep all suffering?" Aaos had lived the preliminary ritual of habit in the cesspools and exhausted them in the mountains. Before projection he prayed thus to the waters:-"O thou I, vice versa-my God. I at least shall not be thy jest. In life I have realized possibilities not contained in heaven-amidst a cowardice inconceivable but accomplished everywhere. I have made known [opening his book] something that is different to the muck of retouched photography which men call reality: although it has been the evil habit of thousands of years. I have created art [lived belief] that surpasses all evolved conception. I have incarnated that which I-need to rationalize: Verily-not the ever present portraiture of experience to satisfy the ovine: No obvious allegory of asses-thinking God: No still-life group of empty bottles and old maids commonplaces: Nor the gay-tragedy of song. But stange desires of stranger arcana. The law I make while thinking God-and will smash and remake again: so that I may commit every conceivable sin against its word. My utility has been-my pleasure-that alone is my service to man and to heaven, in that I am the Goat."
After his devotion Aaos prepared for the Death posture and judgement. Awaking from the awful wrath-his teeth chattering, his limbs shivering and drenched with a cold perspiration, he allowed the ague to exhaust itself and thought thus:
"Verily, I have nothing to forgive or repent . . . Alas! what fears this I but its own conditions? Man will create the faster moving body outside himself-always prefering compulsion to the infinite possibilities of freedom. Alas! Alas! that which is ornamental reacts its uselessness-the symbol 'I was.' The necroloque of love-is utility."
Then rising from his couch and taking an ecstatic inbreath:
"Again would I die violently and jest at God."
The operation having exhausted him he suffered this daydream:
"The waters became murky, then muddy, and movement began. Going nearer, he observed-a phosphorescent morass crowded with restless abortions of humanity and creatures-like struggling mudworms, aimless and blind: an immense swamp of dissatisfaction; a desire smashed into pieces."
With his will, the dream changed and he became in a vast warehouse-cum-brothel. Realizing his whereabouts he muttered:
"Such is life, an endless swallowing and procreation, morally, man is a bastard."
The floor was strewn with dirty clothes and candle ends: knowing the strangest women, nothing was pleasing enough . . . so his attention wandered to the upper story. He was certain he had been there before by a staircase. But now, there was no easy means of access. He would have to climb whatever served. After much painful effort he managed to reach and hang on to the balustrade of the upper floor. There, he noticed the store contained innumerable strange effigies and new creations of humanity. He struggled further along to obtain an easy means of ingress, thinking:
"Where there is desire-there shall be found the desired sleeping partner. What is true, is pleasurable Self. I have now reached the sixth letter of the alphabet."
When suddenly he observed another and more agile following him-who when reaching Aaos, clutched hold of him-shouting:
"Where I cannot reach, thou too shall not ascend."
Their combined weight became too heavy-the balustrading collapsed and they both fell . . . Aaos felt himself falling as into a bottomless pit-when with a start he awoke, and after introspection spoke to his heart:
"Verily I have fallen in love with a new belief and become moral! This I reflects itself differently. What was once easy- is now difficult. All reflections are radiated matter incarnating. Who doth know what his own stillness refracts at the time of its projection? Who would suspect afterthought without consciousness? The I, to be self prophecy-without a conglomeration of old clothes-is by a deliberation previous to will-to be noumenal; is anterior to time. Forgive? [i.e. to free from consciousness]. Yea, a thousand times! so that the desire become large and insane enough to self-will. How can memory forget-when we invented reaction? What is all bad memory-but morality? What is will but reaction-impulsed from the accidents of I?"
Then Aaos remembered he had conditioned his realization by thought of time and remarked:
"So ends in the part sexuality-all asses' magic that premeditates time. Much thought destroys the nerve. The arcana knows more than the I wills: and thus should I have it."
Then Aaos laughed aloud and spoke:
"Up! Up! my sexuality! and be a light unto all-that is in me!"
For he had-while contemplating-eluded his I and knew he would shortly obtain . . . And thus he found a new use for his righteousness.